


Bahorel and the Bear

by talefeathers



Category: Les Misérables - All Media Types
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Cute, Fluff, Gen, Swearing, animals being adorable, it's bahorel and a bear cub okay like jeez
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-02-07
Updated: 2014-02-07
Packaged: 2018-01-11 12:58:01
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,283
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1173347
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/talefeathers/pseuds/talefeathers
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Bahorel was sprawled in the grass behind the tiny fixer-upper he and Feuilly had decided to split, giggling that special giggle that only the outwardly rugged can master.  This wouldn’t normally have prompted a frown from his housemate, but then again, his housemate wouldn’t normally be watching as Bahorel had his face licked all over by a snuffling black bear cub.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Bahorel and the Bear

“Bahorel, I am only going to ask you this one more time. Where. Is. Its. _Mother?”_

Bahorel was sprawled in the grass behind the tiny fixer-upper he and Feuilly had decided to split, giggling that special giggle that only the outwardly rugged can master. This wouldn’t normally have prompted a frown from his housemate, but then again, his housemate wouldn’t normally be watching as Bahorel had his face licked all over by a snuffling black bear cub. Feuilly sighed.

“I mean, I’m not gonna pretend like it’s not adorable,” he conceded. “Because it is. Ridiculously so. In fact, you plus a bear cub is probably one of the top five cutest things I’ve ever seen. However, as I have repeatedly mentioned, _the number one most effective way to get attacked by a fully grown bear is to be caught near one of her children.”_

Bahorel rolled his eyes so far back that he could have been mistaken for a teenager. “All _right,_ all right,” he growled, causing the little bear to scamper away a few steps. He sat up, sparing the cub a little smile before turning an exasperated look on his friend. “But let the record show that I didn’t call you out here so you could rain on my parade.”

“I -- look, it’s very cool that you found a bear, but --!”

“I didn’t _find_ her; she started _following_ me. I was minding my own business. I’m clearly some kind of minor bear deity.”

Feuilly looked like he’d very much like to shake his boisterous friend, and it made Bahorel grin.

 _“Okay,_ okay, I’ll take her back to her mom before any more of your ginger goes gray,” he said, hopping to his feet so that he could ruffle the ginger mop he was talking about. “C’mon, Rosie!” he called to the bear, and with a cheerful barking noise she ambled after him. 

It took Feuilly some time to process the bizarre image of Bahorel beckoning to (and being _answered_ by) a bear, but once he had he was able to focus on the flaw in Bahorel’s plan: “You can’t go _by yourself.”_

“Come on, then!” Bahorel called, already almost to the edge of the wood with Rosie waddling at his heels. “Buddy system, dude! Defend my delicate ass from the momma bear! Isn’t that what friends are for?”

Feuilly closed his eyes. He’d walked right into that one.

\---

“We’re gonna fucking die,” Feuilly sighed, kicking some brambles off of his jeans. “Where are we even going? What’s our plan? I’m not getting lost in the fucking woods with you and a bear cub, man.”

“Take a deep breath, would you? I am leading you along a --” here he gestured grandly at a tree with a fresh swatch of blue spraypaint on its trunk “-- _marked_ path toward where I was when Rosie found me. I figured that’d be a good starting place; we could look for clues and shit.”

“Clues and shit,” Feuilly huffed. “You’re a regular Davy Crockett.”

“Got a better idea?”

Feuilly didn’t, so he followed Bahorel in silence, giving the cub a wide berth; she was sweet enough, but he figured that not having her scent anywhere near him would go a long way toward his survival.

They hadn’t even made it to Bahorel’s checkpoint when he grabbed Feuilly’s arm, pointing at the ground some distance to the left of where they were walking.

“Check it ooouuuut, motherfricker!” he crowed, sauntering over to what he’d seen. When Feuilly finally picked out what it was he became suspicious (and not for the first time) that Bahorel might be part eagle. That was the best explanation he could think of as to how he’d seen the bear print in the dirt from where they’d been walking. Rosie snuffled at the print, then looked up at Bahorel, making a whining noise. He reached down and patted her head. “Don’t worry, honey, we’ll find her.”

It didn’t take nearly as long as Feuilly had anticipated. After about half an hour of tramping through the underbrush Bahorel’s hand shot out and clamped down on Feuilly’s arm again. A second later his eyes caught what had made him do it: a massive black mound of fur about twenty feet from where they stood. The way his heartbeat kicked up shattered any previous notions that he wasn’t scared.

“Shit,” he whispered. “Well -- well what do we do now?”

“I think something’s wrong.”

Feuilly turned to see Bahorel frowning down at Rosie. She was huddled against his heels, whining into her paws. Bahorel locked his eyes on Feuilly’s.

“You stay here.”

“Wh -- Bahorel, you’re going to get yourself _ki--!”_

“Oh, no I _won’t,”_ Bahorel said, waving Feuilly off. He gently nudged Rosie until she shuffled to sit at Feuilly’s ankles. “After everything I’ve survived up to this point? I don’t want to alarm you or anything but I might be fucking invincible. A fucking invincible bear deity.”

“Bahorel.” The cocksure grin that had lit up the taller man’s features faded as he turned to face his freckled friend again. Feuilly licked his lips. “Just… for the love of Christ don’t piss it off.”

With a renewed grin and a jaunty salute, Bahorel began tip-toeing his way toward the hulking mass of fur. When he began to mutter a nature-show-style commentary to himself, Feuilly exhaled and assumed that they were doomed. He began to inch away from the snuffling cub in anticipation of making a quick getaway.

When Bahorel was about ten feet away from the bear Feuilly’s hands curled into fists. When Bahorel halved that distance Feuilly realized he was holding his breath, but he couldn’t bring himself to let it go. His housemate was within swatting distance of a _wild bear._ A huge, sleeping bear that, if awakened, would almost definitely be pissed about the human smell mingling with her cub’s familiar scent. _Why did he keep getting closer?_

Bahorel’s hand was only inches away from the matted fur now. His brow was furrowed, his muscles coiled (though not quite as much, Feuilly thought, as they ought to be). Feuilly was so intent on what his housemate was doing that he barely held in a startled yelp when Rosie sneezed onto his feet. When he looked back up, Bahorel had completely relaxed. He was making his way back through the brush, shoulders sagging.

“C’mon,” he muttered.

“Wh --?”

“She’s dead.”

Feuilly blinked. The tension in his shoulders fell away, but a coldness settled now in the pit of his stomach. When Rosie began to whine again, pawing at Bahorel’s legs, Feuilly let go a gusty sigh.

“Oh.”

“C’mon,” Bahorel said, scooping the cub up and holding her like a child, with her arms wrapped around his neck. “Let’s get out of here.”

\---

Once they’d reached the backyard, it wasn’t long before the heaviness of the day’s discovery was lifted; with a little bit of coaxing Rosie was rolling around in the grass with Bahorel again, and it was clear that she loved him. If Feuilly had had the heart to separate them before, he certainly didn’t now.

“Okay, but she’s staying in the backyard, right?”

“Awww, Feuillyyyy, you mean you don’t want to teach her how to play catch in the living room?”

“That’s exactly what I mean.”

“We could give her baths in the tub!”

“No.” 

“You should take her to Bring Your Teddy to Work Day.”

_“Bahorel.”_

“Resist all you want, Ginger,” Bahorel said, lying on his back and lifting Rosie into the air over him, grinning as she squirmed with glee. “We’re adorable. We’ll wear you down.”

And Feuilly pinched the bridge of his nose and sighed, because he knew that he was right.


End file.
